Relationship counselor Dianne Politud gives a few examples of how Hollywood movies romanticize relationships issues and turns them into a recipe for long-lasting love.
Do you believe in soul mates?
Do you believe you can have the relationship you desire?
In these modern times, where all of us are in a hurry and the only way to connect seems to be through apps, it’s hard to think that we can still have a solid relationship that’s based around real things.
You know the kind of relationship you always imagined when you were younger? The ones we’ve all seen on TV and in movies.
It’s absolutely possible to have a functional, happy, fulfilling, and long-lasting relationship. However, the ones we see on screen are not mainly based on real life, but rather on a writing formula for movies or series, on the script.
Relationships that work and last are written by us.
To have that kind of relationship you have to prioritize, make time, plan, and finally – believe it’s possible. However, you have to know that you need to be in the right place, and you need to have the right tools to be in a relationship, and so is your partner.
The kind of relationships that Hollywood shows us through its movies and TV shows don’t last for several reasons.
Why Hollywood Relationships Aren’t Realistic
They tend to over-do the drama
Relationships have a lot of tension on the screen (where two people are in a screaming match) because it would be boring and pointless to watch a show with no arguments.
In real life, work will stress you. When you go home to your special someone, nobody needs to have more drama to add up to your stress. Instead, couples spend quality time to de-stress, talk about what happened at work, and cuddle to show support and comfort each other.
If you have chemistry, you’re meant to be
Everyone can have chemistry, even the ones who are wrong for each other. It’s one of the top reasons for later separation. However in Hollywood, chemistry equals a happy long after, every time.
You need to be compatible to make a relationship work
There’s no such thing as compatible or not. There’s only less compatible or more compatible. And any relationship can work and last as long as you’re in the right place and have the right tools.
You need to break up because you both want a different path
Before you start a relationship with someone, you need to have similar goals, or if not at least one of you needs to compromise. It’s preferable you find some middle ground here right away, but it’s in no means a deal breaker. It shouldn’t be at least.
If you’re soulmates, things will just work themselves out
Whether you’re soulmates or not, you both need to be in the right place and have the right tools to make it work.
I’m sure you’ve noticed that I keep mentioning being in the right place and having the right tools. So what does it mean?
Being in the right place means being a mature, stable person. Having the right tools means being able to communicate your needs and wants directly and precisely, but you also need to know how to listen to theirs.
But many of us weren’t able or didn’t need to become expert communicators and negotiators, but that’s okay. The process of building a real relationship with someone is a great way to learn to communicate better, as long as you’re both willing to put in the effort.
If it feels like you’re already doing everything you should, but you still tend to think something is wrong – here’s What to do if You’re Not Happy in Your Relationship?
Dianne Politud is a trained Relationship Counselor. She mentors people to build self-esteem and confidence, improve their quality of life, and have better relationships using research-based communication techniques, Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP), and using her experience as a registered nurse.